#010 - Be Careful What (Job) You Wish For

1. Be Careful What (Job) You Wish For

2. Q&A (burnout, feedback, and keeping your CV and LinkedIn the same)

3. In Conclusion

Be Careful What (Job) You Wish For

A friend of mine should’ve been on top of the world.

He’d finally done the thing he’d been dreaming about doing since he was a kid:

He’d written a book.

Not only that, it was selling well. Really well. It even briefly made the New York Times best-seller list.

Oh, also, he was miserable. He was probably the most unhappy I’d seen him.

Why?

Because he’d bet all his happiness on this book.

You know how the saying goes. You’ve probably said the same thing to yourself.

“Once I get that, then I’ll be happy.”

And even if you don’t think it, you feel it. You just know you’ll finally be happy if you get this one thing.

And, for a very short while, you are. That’s the insidious thing. But then you’re not. It fades away and you’re the same as you were before but maybe even a bit worse because the happiness you thought was going to last forever came and went and, well, now what?

There’s a new Johnny Manziel (“Johnny Football”) documentary in which he talks about the same thing. He was the best college football player in the country, he was the first-ever freshman to win the Heisman trophy, he was hanging out with Drake and LeBron, and he was making a ton of cash-in-hand money. He was living every young athlete’s dream.

Here’s what he said about it: "And when I got everything that I wanted, I think I was the most empty that I've ever felt inside."

Kevin Durant said the same thing after winning his first NBA title and Finals MVP: “After winning that championship, I learned that much hadn’t changed. I thought it would fill a certain [void]. It didn’t.”

Jim Carrey? Same thing:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that that’s not the answer.”

So why am I saying this? What’s the point? What’s the message?

Because we ignore what’s in front of us to go and pursue something else. Because we think that thing will make us happy. This thing, this moment, this opportunity in front of us, it’s not enough for some reason. We don’t like it. We don’t want it. We want something else, something better, something more.

But if this actually ‘worked’ - i.e. made us live happily ever after - we wouldn’t need to keep doing it. We’d do it once and be done with it.

Author, spiritual teacher, entrepreneur, and multi-billionaire Michael Singer talks about this in his book, The Surrender Experiment. To cut a long story short, he stops pursuing what he (thinks he) wants and starts simply saying ‘yes’ to the opportunities life presents to him. As a result, he becomes a builder, then a programmer, then starts a business and ends up selling it for billions of dollars (yes, with a ‘b’).

Was it hard to stop pursuing what he (thought he) wanted? Very much so. Was it hard to say ‘yes’ to opportunities that were presented to him that he (thought he) didn’t want? Big time.

Did he do these things anyway? Yes. And yes, they led to him becoming successful and rich. But more importantly, he was happy. He was fulfilled. He was at peace.

So.

What would happen if you made the best of your situation right now?

What would happen if, instead of focussing on changing industries and roles, you focussed on doing your best in your current role and industry and seeing where that took you?

And I get that this might make you feel anxious or annoyed or upset. I get that this might make you think, “But I don’t want to make the best of this situation. I want a different one.” I get that you want to change industries and roles and pursue absolutely nothing but your dream situation. I understand, believe me.

But I’d ask you to once again read the above from Johnny Football, Kevin Durant, and Jim Carrey. They all reached the pinnacle and realised it wasn’t enough. (Wisdom has been defined as learning from other’s mistakes, by the way.)

I’ll leave you with this quote from the great Kobe Bryant:

“Those times when you get up early and you work hard, those times when you stay up late and you work hard, those times when you don’t feel like working, you’re too tired, you don’t want to push yourself, but you do it anyway… that is actually the dream. That’s the dream. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. And if you guys can understand that, then what you'll see happen is you won't accomplish your dreams. Your dreams won't come true.

Something greater will."

Q&A

1. I wanted to ask a bit about how to manage burnout when networking or applying to jobs. I realize that I am a lot more introverted than I thought, so even a small amount of networking has been tiring me out lately. On top of this, I have been quite depressed from the constant rejections and am taking a step back from applying for a week or two to recover from burnout from job applications. Do you have any advice for people like me who are burnt out from networking and job hunting?

As the great Nedra Tawwab has said, “Healthy boundaries are the cure to burnout.” She also put it like this: “Burnout is an indicator of unhealthy perimeters around your time and energy.”

Turns out burnout isn’t from working too hard or too long; it’s from a lack of boundaries.

When it comes to your job search, it’s important to set boundaries around a few things:

• The roles you’re applying for. If you’re getting constant rejections, it’s worth reflecting on. Are you applying only to roles you’re qualified for? And is your CV/resume doing you justice?

• The people you take advice from. I’d suggest taking advice only from people who have a lot of experience in hiring people and who give insights that are actually actionable.

• Networking. Are you focussing primarily on your current network? Or are you trying to reach out to new people all the time? The former is much more likely to help you.

As a reminder, you don’t have to spend every bit of your time and energy on the job search. You’re allowed to go for a walk, spend time with loved ones, work out, watch TV, or hey, maybe just relax.

2. How do you go about getting feedback especially when most responses are automated? Can you seek out the hiring team after and ask? Or are you doomed to repeat the application cycle?

It should be easier than it is to get feedback. I totally get that and I wish I had a solution. (Maybe AI can help us one day.)

If your applications are getting rejected, it might mean you’re not qualified to do the roles you’re applying for. That’s something worth reflecting on.

It might mean that you are qualified but your CV/resume isn’t doing you justice. It’s worth asking a trusted friend or advisor to take a look for you. Perhaps they even know a recruiter or hiring manager in the industry who could give you some feedback.

If that’s not an option, you could also take the CV/resume advice that a lot of us recruiters and hiring managers post on LinkedIn. It’s actionable and it’s free. Use it!

If you’re getting interviews, then yes, you can ask the hiring team for feedback. They might not always be able to give it to you for legal reasons, unfortunately. But you can always ask.

Also - and I appreciate I might be on a bit of an island here - interview feedback can be overrated. Now, if you got asked about the company and didn’t feel like you knew enough, or if you got asked a competency-based question that you didn’t have a great answer for, or if you got asked to give an example and struggled to come up with one, then yes, you can improve on these. But you probably knew that without having to be given feedback.

If you thought the interview went well because you did your prep and performed well at the time, the feedback you get - if you get any - might not be that useful. I’d take it with a pinch of salt, if I were you.

3. Should we keep our LinkedIn and CV/resume the same?

I’m still seeing people applying to roles they’re not qualified for. I’ve had Social Media Managers apply for Product Director roles. I’ve had Marketing Managers apply for IT roles. I’ve had HR Execs apply to Data Science roles.

This is only going to lead to disappointment, frustration, burnout, and perhaps worse.

So yes, your LinkedIn and your CV/resume should be the same because you should be applying for the same kinds of roles. Not just for the sake of your job search, but for your mental health.

In Conclusion

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it more than I can say.

Have a great week of job searching. You got this.

Cheers!

PS Didn’t get to read last week’s newsletter? It’s all about how to change role and industry. Here it is: https://howtogetanewjob.beehiiv.com/p/009-ultimate-guide-changing-role-industry

PPS My LinkedIn notifications are messed up. So if you’ve commented on one of my posts or tagged me in something and I haven’t responded, don’t worry, I still think the world of you.